b intheair: bartered love

Monday, May 09, 2005

bartered love

Bartered love- is free love to make up for ones insecurity. Bartereed love is token love, given as a favor to meet ones immediate needs or desires. Its not long lasting, its much like a storm , comes and goes and is soon forgotten. Love stands the test of time however insignificant. Its the simple things that one forgets. Its the daily grind of going to work and bringing home a paycheck and not asking for anything in return. Its dealing with children and insecure wives that don't really know what love is. Love is not some fantasy world, its REAL. Its a sacrifice without asking for someting in return. I have a lot of love to give, this love is a callous from the from my past. Unaccepted behavior by loved ones that I now accept as a standard, pretty sad pretty bad, now accepted. Don't pity me, accept and drive on. The love I have comes from past abuse, its a callous that now stands the test of time. Its these abusive actions of my chilhood (physical beating and emotional beating) that allows these same abusive actions to continue in the life that I now live and accept and take for granted. This callous allows me too survive the daily grind and make it from day to day. At times I'm very critical which comes accross as someone who doesn't care, thats not the case. I just don't want to continue dealing with the pains of the past. Just because I'm able to forgive , doesn't mean I'm able and willing to forget. I will not allow people back in my life for their personal gain, too make them feel good about themselves. ITS ME! not you. You really need to wake the hell up.
BARTERED LOVE! forget it.

3 Comments:

Blogger Erik Holtan said...

You son of a .....

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey buddy -

I am not posting a comment on this particular message, but I wanted to say, "how 'bout posting something new?"

No more Survivor until we return!!

SGT G

9:43 PM  
Blogger M* said...

I hear that...

6:17 AM  

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