SPF-WALKING THE DOG
And you thought we couldn't have pets. Well? Its not in the amount of sleep its the quality of sleep. You could sleep 12 hrs or 3 hrs and feel like a king or feel like shit. Yesterday I was woke up after about 8 hrs and felt like shit. Being brought out of a deep sleep with the sounds of someone making love when its not you, can be disheartening (even when it wasn't love making). I guess men have a one track mind, even though they don't say so , its the truth. Men go through this kickstand effect throughout the noc, then to be awaken to this grunting sound, well. Erik, what the hell are you doing, situps, crunches and leg raisers (you SOB). Erik gets in these kicks and feels guilty about not exercising so he wakes up to grunt and fart for about 30-40 minutes once or twice a month(alright, so its more frequent but still surprising). It really doesn't matter how much he exercises I'll still kick his ass when it comes down to it. About the urine bottle episode, no I didn't drink it but just as well have. Erik stated he gave himself a sponge bath outside the door, every time he rinsed he smelled urine (like pouring water over hot rocks as in a sauna). This is why we piss in the bottles because it adds to cleanliness around the hooch area (living quarters). People may say its gross to piss in drink bottles but even more gross to walk thru where people have pissed everywhere. When the rainy season comes you will smell all the piss and stench from all the animals who randomly piss everywhere (at times it smells like a cat spraying its territory, mmmmmmmmmm!) Last nite I rolled around for about 30 minutes before getting up to pee in the bottle (I'm not well endowed but still in the dead of the nite it can be challenging to hit the hole and last nite happened to be that nite). Thats OK because without asking Erik mops the floors. I consider myself a neat nick but if he's going to clean the floors, I'm not one to object. Anyway, last nite before making to be of a mess, I told myself this just is not going to work tonite. So here I am walking across the room with my underwear at my ankles and hanging on for dear life because I had to cut off mid-stream with the other hand holding onto a bottle of piss to find the door locked (SOB). This is when you could use a room-mate. Well I managed to get the door open and piss under a full moon (it sure was pretty). After half hour of struggling to take a piss, I finally get settled down with the fan on high and blankets pulled up around head. God-damn-it! Now I have to take a shit. Two blocks later and now working on 1-2 hrs (SOB), here I sit pushing the lower half of colon back in place (SOB), now I lay in bed wide awake, now what the hell am I going to do (just layed there looking at the ceiling). I blame the hemorrhoid issue on Erik (no not talking about his gay tendencies but the literature he keeps leaving in the bathroom). I guess its a proven fact as you sit with the seat spreading your ass cheeks a part you develope hemorrhoids (SOB). As a good leader I'll have to wean Erik from this, we wouldn't want him going to sick-call and have him explain why two room-mates have the same problem (SOB). Besides that, when you think about it, it can't be healthy reading magazines that other people have wiped their asses and put back down. Every once in a while you will see (well, stains and hair, GROSS!), those son of bitches. By the way, I have seen Erik use his piss bottle to spit in and have to pull hair from his mouth, that sorry son-of-a-bitch.