b intheair: OH THAT LONESOME FEELING

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

OH THAT LONESOME FEELING

Hello out there in blogger land. It is Curt's wife again. Well it has been a little over two days since we dropped off Curt at the airport. We dropped him off Sunday am around 715, and I knew it was going to be difficult, but I did not realize this feeling would again last this long. You know it is kind of funny, when Curt was first deployed back in January, it took me a while to get used of him not being next to me when I would roll over in bed; then I kind of liked having all the bed to myself(except on those nights our four year old decided he wanted to be near me)--no one pulling all the covers off of me. Yes, Curt, honey you do this quite frequently to me--which I am sure you will vehemently deny--I love you REGARDLESS. Anyway, once he got home on leave and I had to share the bed and covers again, it took a while to adjust, but it was nice knowing that when I rolled over, there was someone that loved me, cared about me, and made me feel safe. Now, I am faced with that empty feeling again, and I really do not like it at all. However, with 4, sometimes 6 kids, there is not time to sit and feel down---life must go on and kids must be feed, changed, and entertained at times. On Sunday after dropping Curt off at the airport the two little ones and I went back home for a little while, and then we went to Curt's company picnic(Army Natl Guard). Erik, we saw Missy and the kids there, and I even got to hold the baby for awhile. She is adorable--it really made me miss that baby stage. No, Curt, I don't want another baby. While at the picnic I got to talk with Erik and Curt's First Sgt's wife. It was nice to see and talk with people that knew and really understood what I was going through. We did not stay long as we had a soccer game to attend. My daughter, Meghan, had her first soccer game and unfortunately they lost--but they have the potential to be a good soccer team. On Monday my four children and the neighbors' four children went to Minnehaha Falls--very beautiful day for this. The kids all enjoyed wading in the water and skipping rocks. I was daring enough to bring our 9 month old beagle with us also, but he did not enjoy the water as much as I thought he would. Monday evening we went to the neighbor girl's soccer game, and her team also lost--worse than Meghan's team. Monday morning I received a call from my work asking me if I would like to work Monday or Tuesday night. I decided after having about 18 days off it would be nice to go back and get into the swing of things at work, so I decided to pick up Monday night. So, after the evening soccer game, I came home and got the little two ready for bed, and put little Miss Olivia to bed--she promptly asked for her papa to put her in her cribby. Well that just about broke my heart and I had to remind her where Papa was. For the last 5 months when we asked her where Papa was she would reply--Raq-faaaa faaa away. So that night I had to remind my little princess that her papa was far far away. She did not take kindly to this news, but eventually fell asleep. So Monday night it was back to work--which was really nice. I am a night charge nurse at a subacute nursing home only 2 miles from home. It was great returning, but I was saddened to see so many of my residents(about 7 or 8) had passed away. When you work with a resident for four years, they become like family, and at times it is hard to have them die. I also had to train in a new RN(she just passed boards)--this was not what I had in mind my first night back after having 18 days off---I myself felt like there were a lot of residents that I did not know. The night was busy, but, it was a nice outlet for me. Sometime--who am I kidding--all of the time now--work is my only "alone" time. I came home and slept about 4 hours. Tonight there are two more soccer games to get the kids to. Thank God we have neighbors that are on my son and my daughters teams, so we just car pool. I will be attending my sons game tonight--I only hope he has better luck than the girls had. Well that is about it from my end since my hubby left. To Curt--I miss you terribly, and I hope to sit down and blog every other day if not every day to let you know what is happening in our lives. To all the people who read our blogs---thank you for your support and kind words. We need to let our soldiers and their families/loved ones know how much we appreciate the sacrifices they all make on a daily basis. Also, Curt, I am looking forward to a call from you letting me know that you arrived safely back in Iraq. I love you honey and miss you terribly. The kids are doing well and have seemed to adjust to your leaving better than I have. Stay safe!!! Oh, honey I almost forgot to tell you that Tony called this am and we talked for about ten minutes, and he was so sorry that he could not get through to you while you were home. I gave him your address--he does not have the internet, so that is not an option. Erik--sorry dude your roommate should be back in no time--keep each other in line.

Judy(Curt's wife)

3 Comments:

Blogger Erik Holtan said...

Yeah, well Iwonder if he has ever heard of INTERNET, Phone, or anything to tell me WHEN he is coming into BIAP! I DO NOT WANT to pick him up in the middle of the night!

6:13 PM  
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6:24 PM  
Blogger Call Me Grandma said...

Hey Judy, it was sure good too hear from Curt's softer side. Sometimes Curt puts on this mean mucho act but I think you just busted him. He really is a pussy cat at heart. Thanks for posting something.

7:29 PM  

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