b intheair: RATS, RATS, RATS!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

RATS, RATS, RATS!


Rats, rats, rats! Thats right G-damn rats, can you believe we have rats in our work place. I think if there were rats in any building back in the states as far as government buildings, their would be one hell of an outcry. Here its a day of life, yes, we seen dead rats in the office. The dumb SOB ate the sponge liners in our kevlar (thats the hats that we wear to keep the bullets from entering our brain cavities. The damn rat ate the foam liners that had salt and dander and G-damn hair in my case as it falls out. We know this because one of the soldiers noticed hunks of foam missing from his kevlar. We didn't know the culprit til we smelled the G-damn rotting carcus that had been there for quite some time because we couldn't figure out the smell til we happened upon it (we noticed the smell for weeks and couldn't figure out what it was). I only bring this up because the Colonel came back in the middle of the nite or early morning, only to see this rat running accross the desks, counters and shelves. Like what the hell are you going to do Colonel, he said he was chasing him around the office. I laugh because we were going through a box of clothes where he had seen one coming out of and as he was going through it I grabbed his arm and said RAT. Well needless to say this old man about shit his pants and his heart skipped 2-3 beats. I about pissed my pants I was laughing so damn hard. A Kevlar such as the one above claimed our first rat. We didn't do an autopsy but it had to be the killer. I know this to be an effective killer because my GRANDFATHER used to kill stray dogs which used to kill his sheep out on the praire. He used sponges soaked with gravy and lard which consequently killed him also by clogging his arteries. When the dogs came to get their sponge dinners, they choked the sponge down which gave them a bowel obstruction which in turn made them septic and killed their dumb-asses. He also used to take gunny-sacks, he would fit them over his hubcaps somewhat like you would put a trash can liner in a trash-can. Then he would drive up and down the road slow enough for the dogs to run and bite at the tires and get their teeth caught in the gunny-sack which would in turn, snap their necks. Ingenuity-hell you might be able to get a patent with this one.

1 Comments:

Blogger aka_Meritt said...

Huh.
Learn something new every day... (the sponge and gunny sacks).

1:33 AM  

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